developing a “safe space”
learn how to create a “safe place” as a coping skill
What if you could create a sense of calm and safety, no matter where you are? The “Safe Place” technique is one I often introduce during the early phases of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (Learn about EMDR, here). It’s a simple yet powerful technique where you create or visualize a space—real or imagined—that feels calm, safe, and entirely yours. This technique works for anyone, regardless of age, and can be used in nearly any setting, whether at home, school, or even a busy workplace! When we practice this together, it becomes a go-to tool for grounding yourself when emotions feel too big to handle. It’s not just about having a coping mechanism; it’s about having a reliable sense of safety you can carry with you wherever you go.
The Safe Place is a personal mental space where you feel secure, relaxed, and in control. The purpose of this coping skill is to give you a way to step away from overwhelming emotions, ground yourself, and reset before re-engaging with the situation at hand. Your safe place can take many forms—it might be a real location, like a cozy corner of your room or a favorite park bench, or it could be entirely imagined, like a tranquil beach, a serene forest, or even a floating cloud (I even have a client who pretends to be in Harry Potter for her space!). The beauty of this skill is its flexibility, allowing you to create a space that feels uniquely comforting and accessible, no matter where you are.
The science behind the safe place skill lies in its ability to calm the body’s fight-or-flight response by engaging grounding techniques that bring focus back to the present moment. When we feel overwhelmed, our brain’s emotional regulation systems can become overstimulated, making it harder to think clearly or feel in control. Creating a safe place helps reintroduce a sense of security, promoting mindfulness and self-soothing by guiding the mind and body toward relaxation. This is especially effective for children and teens as it helps them feel anchored and empowered.
To help your child or teen imagine their safe place, start by encouraging them to think of a spot that makes them feel truly peaceful and happy—it could be a real memory or a dreamlike setting they create themselves. Invite them to use sensory details: What does this place look like? Is it filled with soft, warm colors? What sounds can they hear, like waves crashing or birds singing? What does it smell like—a fresh breeze, flowers, or even something delicious baking? These details make the safe place feel vivid and comforting.
It’s important to practice this skill during calm moments so it becomes second nature when emotions run high. The more familiar and accessible the safe place becomes, the stronger it is as a coping tool, ready to provide reassurance and grounding whenever needed!
